


The Proposal

by grrriliketigers



Category: The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-02
Updated: 2013-04-02
Packaged: 2017-12-07 06:40:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/745467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grrriliketigers/pseuds/grrriliketigers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shamelessly borrowing the idea from The Proposal because of Ebert's comment that it was what DWP should have been (or something to that effect). Miranda's citizenship is in question and she latches onto Andy to save her, as usual.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted August 2009

"Your lawyer is on the phone, Miranda." Emily called again from the outer office.

"Take a message," Miranda rolled her eyes, trying to ignore her.

"Miranda, he says if you don't take the call he's going to come down here."

"Dear God, does everyone require handholding or is it just the incompetents that flock around me?" She pulled her earring out and put the phone to her ear, "David, make it quick."

"Miranda, it's your ex-husband." He started.

"David, do try to keep it moving. Which ex-husband? Use names and full sentences. Go."

"It's Lucas, he's putting up a huge fuss about your custody agreement with the girls."

"Oh please do bore me with the details, just deal with it, you always do."

"No, Miranda, this is really serious. He's brought up some concerns about your citizenship. Miranda, please tell me you have taken the citizenship test."

Miranda bit her lip and remained silent. 

"Miranda? Please tell me..."

"I heard you," she snapped. "I... well, no. I got married. Habitually." 

"Miranda, you aren't an American citizen." David bit his lip.

"Don't be ridiculous, I donate money to the fire fighters association every year. If that doesn't make me an American I don't know what does."

"Miranda, this is really serious." 

"I could just take the silly test, could you have someone bring it to me here, I can't stand that INS building, it's atrocious, it's so drab. That's all." 

"Miranda, you're going to be deported." David insisted. "This is serious."

" _That's all_." Miranda slammed the phone down onto the cradle. She sat back in her seat and chewed nervously on her fingernail. She looked out the door to the inner office and saw Andy return to her seat, "Andrea, get in here!"

Andy jumped and walked into the office, stopping nervously in front of the glass desk, "yes, Miranda?"

"Andrea, you're gay, aren't you?"

Andy's jaw dropped open. "I'm b- I slee- _why_?" 

"I need you to marry me. They're trying to deport me and I need you to marry me." 

"What? Why me?" Andy demanded.

"Because you know everything about me." 

" _Emily_ knows everything about you." Andy objected.

Miranda sighed heavily and looked at Andy, who had clearly suffered recent head trauma because there was no excuse for that level of obtuseness. "First of all, Emily is not _gay_ and secondly, and more importantly, she is not an American citizen _either_."

"Miranda... _you're_ not gay either."

Miranda waved her hand dismissively, "details. It's not like it'll be a real marriage or anything. I'll just claim that Lucas turned me off of men," she laughed a little, "that'll really get under his skin."

"But Miranda..." Andy was at a loss. "I can't marry you."

"Are you already married?"

"No..."

"Already engaged?"

"No..."

"Dating anyone?"

"Well, no..." 

"Look Andrea, it will all be very simple, I did it for my first marriage. The INS agent will ask you questions, we'll dash off to the town hall, get married and then after a suitable time has passed, we'll get a divorce."

"Miranda, I'm not comfortable defrauding the government." 

"How are you doing on your school loans?"

"Um... I've still got several years left on them." Andy furrowed her brow.

"Consider them paid in full if you do this for me." Andy opened her mouth to speak and Miranda held up a hand to stop her, " _and_ a sparkling recommendation letter to The New Yorker. David Remnick owes me a favor." 

Andy stared at her in amazement. "I... wow."

"Say yes, Andrea, say you'll marry me." 

"...yes."

"Good." Miranda nodded curtly. "Call INS and get us an appointment this afternoon. Try to put it between my lunch date with Donatella and the Lacroix run through, move the run through up if you have to."

"Yes, Miranda." Andy stood to leave, she was still stunned.

"No." Miranda said sharply, startling Andy into turning back around. "No, move the Lacroix run through up and schedule the INS meeting after it." She paused again, "but no later than three."

Andy nodded, "yes, Miranda." 

Andy sank back down into her chair and Emily raised an eyebrow at her. "What's wrong with you? You look like someone just shot your dog."

Andy blinked and looked up at Emily. "Holy shit..." Andy just shook her head, "what did I get myself into..."

The run through was hectic. Lacroix's people were running around like bats out of hell trying in vain to elicit a smile from Miranda. Andy wasn't paying any attention to the clothes or the accessories or the model that started to cry because Miranda called her homely. Andy sat behind Miranda and stared at the back of her head dumbly.

Had she really agreed to marry Miranda? Miranda had shown a brief flash of humanity in Paris after Stephen served her with divorce papers and Andy thought that she could almost care about her, she saw the woman underneath the make-up and she thought she saw a glimpse of the real Miranda.

The proceeding months had made Andy doubt that there was anything other than more monster underneath. She hadn't seen the return of Miranda's humanity since. 

She just kept reminding herself that someone had fallen in love with her. Three people, at least, and her daughters seemed to love her. So, Andy figured, there must be something likable about Miranda. 

Andy was just having a difficult time putting her finger on it.

Sitting in the chair, Miranda crossed her legs and gave Andy her shoulder coldly. Andy fidgeted. Andy couldn't imagine how anyone would believe that they were a couple in love.

The agent shuffled through his booklet of questions. "Alright, Miranda, what is Andrea's favorite color?" INS agent Robert Gabriel asked, looking up from his pamphlet of questions.

Miranda rolled her eyes. "That's a stupid, trivial question. I have no idea what her favorite color is." 

Andy closed her eyes and let out a breath, she was going to be arrested for fraud.

"Mhm..." Gabriel scribbled something in his book. 

"I don't need to know what her favorite color is," Miranda said, drawing the attention of the two other people in the room back to her. She looked over at Andy and took her hand, looking into her eyes, "all I know is that when I look into her eyes I see the person I'm meant to be with and I know that the rest of it is all trivial. I see her love and affection and it floors me."

Andy swooned a little, letting out a soft content sigh, "Miranda..."

"Yes, well." Gabriel cleared his throat and wrote something else in his book. "We need to schedule separate interviews for you both."

"As soon as possible, please." Miranda said.

"Of course," he scanned his appointment book, "I don't normally work on Saturdays but I could make the exception. Is Saturday at 8 good for you?"

"Yes." Miranda nodded.

"No." Andy shook her head. "It's my parents' anniversary and I'm going home this weekend, until Tuesday."

Miranda laughed, "and obviously I'm going too because Andrea and I are practically attached at the hip." 

Andy laughed uncomfortably, "and you know this one, she has no idea what she's doing till I tell her. I don't think she's ever looked at her own day planner."

Miranda scowled. Andy ignored her.

Gabriel narrowed her eyes a bit, "alright then, Wednesday morning at 9 it is." 

"Thank you," Andy said as they exited the office. 

Once out on the street, Miranda put her sunglasses on and grinned. "Hook, line and sinker. I was afraid I laid it on a little too thick but I think your swoon -- which was a nice touch, by the way -- really sealed the deal."

Andy sighed. Obviously it hadn't been genuine affection but now she couldn't even pretend it had meant anything. 

"Yeah..." Andy paused, "so, should I pick you up to go down to Ohio?"

"I really have to go? Do you think they'll check?" Miranda scowled and then she sighed, "I suppose it would be nice to visit the Cincinnati Art Museum and they do have a Hilton, don't they?"

"You won't be staying at my parents'?"

"Dear Lord, why would I do that?" Miranda raised an eyebrow.

"That's something a fiancée would do." Andy crossed her arms across her chest. "You heard Gabriel, Miranda, he's going to talk to our friends and family. It's not enough just to say we're engaged but we have to act the part."

"Can't I just be characteristically indifferent?" Miranda slid her glasses onto her face. "Would anyone be surprised if I snubbed your family by staying at a hotel?"

"Miranda, I'm calling the shots here, you need me, I'm doing you a favor so you have to do it my way. I don't want my parents to hate you because if they hate you they're going to give me a hard time and they're going to make my life hell." Andy leaned into Miranda's personal space. "If they make my life hell I'm not going to be very happy and if I'm not happy I can't marry you." 

Miranda pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes.

Andy pulled back and shrugged, "but you know, it's up to you. If you want to stay in the country, anyway. You're an adult, you make your own decisions." 

Miranda rolled her eyes, "yes, fine. I'll stay at your parents'."

"Neat, so I'm renting a car and I'll pick you up tomorrow morning at- what? Stop making that face!" Andy put her hands on her hips.

"You can just go ahead and cancel that car. We will be flying. I do not do _road trips_." Miranda waited for a minute, "pull out your little pda and make the arrangements, don't just stand there and gawk at me." 

"Being married to you is going to be fun..." Andy muttered sarcastically as she pulled out the Blackberry and started to change her plans. "Roy will pick you up tomorrow morning at 7 sharp."


	2. Chapter 2

Miranda took the evening off in preparation for her trip to Ohio and to spend the evening with her daughters before Lucas picked them up. 

"Mom!" They ran down the stairs with their nanny in tow. "You're home! It's early and you're home!" They hugged her.

"I am, babies, I'm going to spend the evening with you." She kissed their foreheads and looked to their nanny, "Denise, you can go home now."

"Thank you, Ms. Priestly, I'll see you next week." Denise smiled graciously and let herself out. 

"I have to talk to you girls about something," Miranda started, "let's go into the kitchen and get some ice cream and talk."

The girls wouldn't ever dream of turning down ice cream before dinner. Once Cassidy was set up with a bowl of mint chocolate chip and Caroline was set up with tin roof sundae, Miranda took a deep breath. "I am not going to insult your intelligence by beating around the bush about it, so I'm just going to tell you: I'm engaged."

Twin mouths dropped, "to whom?"

"You didn't tell us you were dating!"

"Well, darlings, it was all very sudden." Miranda started.

"Very sudden and very convenient..." Lucas smirked from the doorway. "Feeding them ice cream before I give them dinner? Miranda, I expected better from you... sort of."

"How did you get in here?" Miranda scowled. 

"Cassidy forgot her house keys last week." Lucas winked at his daughter and tossed her keys to her.

Cassidy caught them and blushed embarrassedly, "sorry, I didn't tell you mom... I didn't want you to freak out about losing my keys."

"This is a much better way to find out." Miranda rolled her eyes, "girls, why don't you go get your things together? I have to talk to your father for a minute."

The girls jumped down off of their stools and made haste out of the room. They were always thankful for a reprieve, they believed that Miranda and Lucas could single handedly start world war three with all the rage and contempt they had for each other. 

"Engaged, are you?" Lucas quirked an eyebrow. "This will be what? Husband number ten?"

Miranda sneered at him. "It would be husband number _five_ , thank you, and," she paused with a shrug, hiding a coy smile, "for your information, it won't be a husband at all."

Lucas furrowed his brow. "What do you mean by that?"

"What I mean is that I am engaged to be wed to a woman." Miranda grinned coyly, "I really should thank you, Lucas. If it wasn't for you and the _profoundly_ awful sex that we had I may have lived my whole life with the wool pulled over my eyes."

He sneered at her. "Page Six hasn't said anything about you dating a woman. I don't buy this." He shook his head, "they'd be all over that."

"We've been very discreet." Miranda shrugged. 

"I don't buy this for a second, Miranda, you're just doing this to avoid being deported. I'm onto you."

"I will say that perhaps the threat of deportation has shortened our engagement but it only served to strengthen my already ironclad resolve." Miranda grinned, "I am just madly, deeply in love." 

"Bullshit." Lucas snarled. "You're just doing this to get back at me."

"Lucas, all that I am doing is exactly what you're doing. I am exploiting a law but, unlike you, I am doing it for the right reasons." Miranda crossed her arms across her chest and set her glare on her second ex-husband.

Lucas shook his head with an aggrieved sigh. "I'm getting the girls and I'm going."

"Good." 

The two walked to the bottom of the steps, "girls, your father is ready to go."

The rambunctious redheads pounded down the stairs with their backpacks flung over their shoulders. Miranda knelt down and hugged them and kissed their cheeks. "I'm going to be gone this weekend but I'll call you, okay?"

The twins nodded their approval and kissed her cheeks in return, "love you, mom."

"Love you too, babies." Miranda smiled and stood up, casting a sidelong glare at Lucas. 

"I'll alert the media that New York can sleep easily." Lucas deadpanned. 

Miranda slammed the door behind him.

Andy was shocked and impressed to find Miranda standing on her stoop promptly at 7 waiting for them. Less shockingly, she was wrapped to the gills in her scarf and sipping her steaming hot coffee, staring off like a martyr.

Roy got out of the car and hauled her heavy suitcase into the trunk and opened the door for her. She humphed and settled into the back of the car. 

"Miranda-"

Miranda held up a hand to stop her, "do not talk to me until caffeine is coursing through my bloodstream."

"Don't suppose you brought me one." Andy scoffed. Miranda held up a coffee with the other hand. Andy's brow softened and she accepted the coffee. "Really? That's so sweet... thank you..."

Miranda shrugged and returned to her coffee. Andy watched her for a few moments before sipping her own coffee. 

Once they were settled on the plane Miranda began to calm down a little. She put a Dramamine in her mouth and dry swallowed it. 

"Here," Miranda held out a ring, "wear this, it should fit you provided you don't bloat."

"Very romantic, Miranda." Andy rolled her eyes and held the ring between her fingers, "it's pretty." 

"My first husband gave it to me."

"Miranda! Someone gave you this ring because they loved you! I can't wear this."

"No, he gave it to me because he was cheating on me and he thought he could make me forget about it by distracting me with something shiny."

"That's even worse..."

"I never wore it."

"Miranda!" Andy objected.

"What? You want me to _buy_ you an engagement ring?" Miranda rolled her eyes. 

"I want you to put some feeling into it, not 'here wear this unless you bloat, fatso.'" Andy crossed her arms across her chest.

"I didn't say fatso. Don't misquote me." Miranda glared. 

"Just say it like you mean it." Andy thrust the ring back into Miranda's hand. "I'm doing this to save your ass, just put some feeling into it."

Miranda pocketed the ring, "this is ridiculous."

Andy dug the packet of questions out of her carry on. "I think we should go over these questions."

Miranda sighed heavily. "Bore someone else, would you?"

"We have to learn the answers to these questions for when the guy asks. I know all these things about you but you need to learn the answers about me." 

Miranda grabbed the pamphlet out of her hands, "you do not know all these things about me!" Miranda scanned the page, "when is my birthday?"

"October 25th."

"The twins' birthday?"

"September 18th." 

"How old are they?"

"Eleven."

"Were the delivered naturally or cesarean?"

"...I don't know!" Andy frowned, "this isn't a contest Miranda, why are you trying to trip me up?"

"Do I have any tattoos or piercings?" Miranda raised her eyebrows at her.

"You know, I'm going to say no. I can't imagine you would deface your perfect body with such foolishness as a tattoo."

"Shows what you know." Miranda snorted, "I do have a tattoo."

"You do? Where?" Andy grinned.

"I'm not going to tell you that, that's very personal." Miranda rolled her eyes.

"What if they ask?"

"You tell them it's private!" 

"Fine, whatever, I'll just write down all the answers to these questions for you." She pulled out her notebook. "That way we don't have to talk about it."

Miranda flagged down the stewardess, "dry martini, three olives."

The plane landed on time, thankfully, and Andy gathered the bags from the overhead compartment. Miranda kept her sunglasses on and warded off a couple of admirers with a sneer and a sigh. Andy walked behind her with their suitcases. "You know what, Miranda? You carry the suitcases."

"Why would I do that?" Miranda scowled.

"Because this is ridiculous." Andy dropped the handle of the suitcase, letting it clatter to the ground. "If you're not going to pick them up I'm just going to take mine and leave yours in the middle of the airport. Which would be a tragedy because you'd shrivel up and die without your Wang." 

A couple of people stopped and looked at them with confusion. 

Miranda blushed furiously. " _Vera_ Wang." Miranda grabbed the handle of her suitcase and picked up the pace. Andy pushed her own bag into Miranda's arms. Miranda huffed and threw it over her shoulder. 

"Andy!" Andy's mother waved to them as she saw them approaching, her brother, Danny, watching with disinterest, "oh look at you, Andycakes! You look so good!" 

Miranda shifted the bag on her shoulder. 

"Mom, this is Miranda." Andy motioned to Miranda who pursed her lips. "Miranda, this is my mother, Josephine."

Danny choked on a laugh. "Jesus, Andy! Aren't there any younger lesbians in New York?"

Before Miranda could open her mouth to unleash an undoubtedly furious and insulting rant, Andy put an arm around Miranda, "younger, but none hotter."

Miranda smirked amusedly and Andy thanked God she was still alive. Danny looked chastised and Josephine looked uncomfortable.

"Well, let's get home." Andy attempted to pull everyone's attention away from Miranda and Miranda's age. "I can't wait to have some of your potato salad, mom."

"I don't know if there's any left, Danny's been eating absolutely everything." Josephine laughed. 

"I'm bulking up for football, mom!" Danny rolled his eyes.

"Danny, offer to take the bags from Miranda." Josephine said pointedly.

"She's got them." Danny frowned.

"Danny!"

"Fine!" He grabbed the handle on Miranda's suitcase and almost dropped it, "what do you got in here? Jesus!"

"Stop complaining, you're supposed to be weight training." Josephine laughed.

"Yeah, but I can only bench 200 pounds!" He dragged the suitcase behind him.

"Oh my god," Miranda wailed aggrievedly, grabbing the suitcase by the handle and easily carrying it. Josephine, Danny and Andy gawked. 

Once in the parking lot Danny yelled, "shotgun!" punching Andy in the arm.

Andy rubbed her shoulder and scowled, "I wasn't contesting your shotgun!" Josephine popped the trunk and Miranda tucked her suitcase lovingly in its depths. Andy opened the door for Miranda. 

Miranda sighed heavily and rubbed her eyes. 

"Are you okay?" Andy whispered.

Miranda nodded, "I just took a Dramamine on the plane, it makes me drowsy." 

"You could nap until we get home." Andy said soothingly.

"It would hardly be worth it, would it? We're already in Cincinnati, how long could it possible take?" Miranda scoffed.

"We live in a town outside of Cincinnati."

"I thought you went to school in Cincinnati!" Miranda scowled, "that was the one question I could answer!" 

"I did go to school in Cincinnati, our town is so small that it doesn't have its own school."

Miranda groaned and leaned her head back against the seat. "I'm starting to wish I'd chosen deportation..." she muttered.


	3. Chapter 3

The car pulled down a one and a half lane, unlined road and Josephine smiled. "Just in time to feed the kitty his lunch."

Miranda cringed. "You have a cat..."

"Yes, his name is Napoleon." Josephine beamed. 

"Josephine and Napoleon, how historically accurate." Miranda smirked.

"Oh, now I am impressed, almost no one gets that!" Josephine smiled hugely.

"Well, I was educated in a country that actually _cares_ about history, so..." Miranda straightened her skirt. 

Josephine furrowed her brow, "what do you mean by that?"

Miranda looked back up. "What I _mean_ is that Americans are completely devoid of a sense of history. They take one class on it and then they forget the information as soon as they take the test. That's why my twins' nanny is a grad student at NYU who works on her dissertation while she's not with them."

"I think that's an unfair assessment of American education." Josephine scowled.

"My mother was a teacher." Andy whispered to Miranda, who seemed content enough to duke it out with Josephine anyway.

"Andrea's brother," Miranda leaned forward, catching the attention of Danny. "What were the intolerable acts?"

"Uh..." he bit his lip and looked over at his mother who was trying to mouth him the answer. "Um... they were... when... they kicked the Indians out of their homes?"

"Wrong. Which freedoms are afforded to you in the first amendment?"

He rubbed his face, he was getting flustered. "Look lady, I'm on vacation... I don't want to do this."

"Do you know the answer?" Miranda asked calmly.

"No!" He snapped.

Miranda pursed her lips, leaning back in her seat and making a little hmm of superiority. Andy held her face in her hands as the car pulled into the driveway. Josephine and Danny piled out of the car. Andy got out of the car and Miranda put a hand over Andy's arm. "Andrea, I am _violently_ allergic to cats."

Half an hour later Miranda sat at the table looking judgmentally at the plate of food in front of her. Josephine sat across from her, glaring at her in annoyance that Miranda made her shut Napoleon up in the laundry room. Danny had embarrassedly took his lunch to his room. Andy was silently praying that Miranda would eat without making a scene. 

Christmas had apparently come early for Andy because Miranda ate her food silently. Miranda was apparently too distracted by a completely allergy stuffed nose to be a complete bitch. 

After they ate Andy and Miranda brought their things up to Andy's room. "Miranda, don't make a big deal out of the failing American education system around my mother, okay? She was a middle school teacher for like 20 years."

"I just find it absolutely ridiculous that the citizenship test is comprised mostly of US history but the average American couldn't pass it. If they really wanted to give me a test for being an American they should give me a plate of nachos and ask me to fart the national anthem."

Andy rolled her eyes. 

"So, where will you be sleeping, Andrea?" Miranda sat down on the bed.

Andy looked over at the bed in the middle of the room. "Um... the bed? ...is that a trick question?"

"It's not a very big bed," Miranda folded her arms across her chest. "I'm loathe to share it." 

Andy glared at her. "Fine. I'll sleep on the floor." She dropped her pillow onto the carpet and sighed at the floor. "By the way, I don't want to tell my family that we're going to get married right away. I'll tell them when I'm ready."

Richard Sachs arrived home in the late afternoon. He looked around in surprise when the cat didn't run to greet him. Josephine approached and kissed him hello. "Where's Napoleon, Josie? Is everything okay?"

"Our house guest is _allergic_ to him so I had to shut him in the laundry room." Josephine leaned her head on her husband, "let me brace you. The woman that Andy brought is Miranda Priestly."

"You're kidding!" Richard scowled. "Why on Earth would she do that?"

"She says they're dating." Josephine shrugged. "I don't know what gets into that girl's head. I tried to teach her common sense but clearly she has completely ignored me. I can't even imagine what Andy sees in her." 

Richard sighed. "Who knows... maybe she's just starstruck. Maybe she'll come to her senses soon."

"One can only hope." Josephine sighed.

Andy came down the stairs and smiled when she saw her father, "dad!" She ran to him and hugged him, "I thought I heard you come home!"

"Hello kitten," he kissed the top of her head. "It's so good to see you!"

Miranda came down the stairs slowly, hanging back out of the desire to not meet Andy's father. He straightened up defensively when he saw her. Andy looked over and waved Miranda to them, "dad, I'd like you to meet Miranda Priestly."

Miranda's Fendi platform Mary Janes put her head and shoulders above Richard. He attempted to hide his scowl. 

Miranda held out a hand to him. He accepted it graciously and managed a cordial, "nice to meet you," and Miranda scowled out a "likewise."

"Dinner's almost ready." Josephine announced, "Andy, why don't you give me a hand."

Andy glanced at Miranda out of the corner of her eye and the intense staring contest going on between Miranda and Richard. Andy sighed inwardly and followed her mother into the kitchen.

Richard broke the silence, "so you're Andy's boss."

Miranda nodded, "I am." She pursed her lips, "so you're Andrea's father."

"Yup." Richard narrowed his eyes. "I don't care who you are, you better treat her well, she's a very wonderful and special girl."

"And may I ask why you automatically assume that I mistreat her?" Miranda pursed her lips with annoyance.

"Because I can't recall one nice thing she's ever said about you." 

Before Miranda could rebut Josephine called from the kitchen, "Rick, would you go tell Danny to come down and set the table?" 

Dinner was one trial after another. Andy had to give Miranda credit because she didn't actually instigate any of the altercations but it certainly didn't help matters that she seemed to be much quicker witted than her family. When Josephine had exclaimed her surprise and disapproval that Miranda didn't cook for her children Miranda had countered that she couldn't believe that there were any modern women that still felt that women had an obligation to cook and clean. Miranda always made sure that the cooking and cleaning was done by paying someone to do it _well_. When Danny tried to regain some of his dignity from the earlier attack on his intelligence by pleading that he hadn't yet finished college, Miranda pointed out that she'd never attended college (along with a backdoor comment that she was the only non-collegiate, former or present, at the table and she made more money in a year than the four others combined). And when Richard made a vain attempt at attacking the validity of running a fashion magazine, especially in a time of economic recession, Miranda coolly responded that fashion was one thing that would never end because people would always wear clothes, but also Elias-Clark Publishing created more jobs than GM could even imagine. 

Andy watched Miranda eat her food with a grace and elegance that came from a privileged English upbringing while her family pushed their food around their plates and licked their wounds. 

Andy really had to hand it to Miranda. Even when Andy found the actions themselves deplorable she had to admire Miranda's ability to reduce people to seething masses of shame and despondency. 

"Andy," Richard said sharply as he stood up, "would you help me with the dishes?" 

Picking up her and Miranda's plates she knew that she was in for a lecture once the door to the kitchen closed. 

"I was going to keep silent," Richard said as the plates clattered into the sink. Andy picked up the dishcloth. "I was going to keep it to myself but I can't approve of your dating that woman! Did you hear those things she said to us?"

"Dad, be fair." Andy tried to soothe her father's bruised ego as she dried the first washed dish. "You guys provoked all those arguments. Runway is her livelihood, it's her life, she takes it very seriously and you can't just tell her you think it's frivolous and not expect her to retaliate. You haven't even tried to be nice to her."

"Neither has she!" Richard protested.

Andy snorted, "no, that was Miranda being nice." 

"Andy, darling, I would never ask you this under any other circumstances, alright?" Richard started and Andy looked at him with skepticism. "Please stop dating her, please break up with her." 

"Dad!" Andy's jaw dropped in indignation.

"Now, Andy, just listen to reason. The first couple of months that you worked for her you called home once a week to cry! How can you be with someone who treated you so badly? How can you be with someone who has so little respect for you?"

"Dad-"

"Andy, don't talk, just think about it." Richard insisted, "your job at Runway pushed Nate away and _that_ was a good relationship. Just think about it."

"We're getting married!" Andy blurted.

"...what?" Richard stared at her open mouthed. 

"I'm 25 and I am making an informed adult decision, I don't need you to treat me like I'm a little kid who can't take care of herself. I'm sick of it!" 

Richard was silent for a few moments as he stared at Andy in disbelief. "Josephine!" He yelled, dropping the dish into the soapy water and rushing back out to the dining room with Andy at his heels. "Josephine!"

"What is it, Rick?" Josephine jumped up from her chair. Miranda looked on with disinterest. 

"Andy just... she said... she just said..."

Andy rolled her eyes. "Mom," she took a deep breath. "Miranda and I are getting married."

Josephine's eyes went wide. "Andy, you can't be serious..." 

"You know what? I love her and I'm going to marry her and I can be serious." Andy folded her arms across her chest. "Miranda, do you want to say something?"

Miranda was the only person still seated as the scene unfolded. She wasn't going to get involved, she was going to let Andy deal with it on her own. Miranda shook her head, "no, I think you've got it." 

Andy looked back to her incredulous parents and sighed a little. She continued more calmly, "you have to trust that I know what I'm doing and what I want out of my life." 

A digitized chorus of Ding Dong the Witch is Dead rang out through the room and the Sachs family looked around in confusion. Miranda pulled her phone out of her jacket pocket. "That's my ex-husband," she stood up, "excuse me."

She opened the phone and slipped through the doorway to the living room. "What Lucas? Is it the girls?" 

"Just called to ask if you've rethought this sham of a marriage." He shrugged, "or are you still pretending you care about someone other than yourself." 

"I care about other people, I just don't care about you."

"Ooh, that cut me really close to the bone, Miranda. Ouch." He mocked, "you don't care about anyone other than yourself and I want full custody of the girls."

"No," Miranda said through gritted teeth, "no, you're not getting custody of my daughters. Those girls mean the world to me."

"How many hours a week do you work, Miranda? How much time do you really spend with them? Runway means the world to you, not the girls."

"Lucas, that's not fair." Miranda's voice was icy and cool but she had tears in her eyes, "everything that I do I do for those girls and how dare you try to imply otherwise." 

The Sachs family argument had ceased as Miranda's conversation continued as if they all just remembered that Miranda was still in the house. They were all too stunned by the weakening of Miranda's resolve to realize how uncouth it was to listen in to her conversation. 

Miranda wiped a stray tear away but her voice remained precise. "Lucas, if you try to take my children away from me I am going to do everything I can to ruin you." 

"Empty promises, Miranda," Lucas smirked. 

"Let me talk to the girls."

"They're asleep."

"They are not, it's only 7:30." Miranda sneered, "let me talk to them."

Richard cleared his throat, "I'm going to finish washing the dishes." 

Andy looked through into the other room. She saw Miranda close her phone and slip out the front door. "I'm going to go check on her." As Andy opened the door to the front yard she was hit with the cool night air. 

Miranda was sitting on the front steps. When she heard Andy approaching she wiped at her eyes. Andy sat down next to her, Miranda averted her eyes. "Are you okay?"

"Don't ever get divorced, Andrea." Miranda sighed. "Well, a divorce from a real marriage... you know what I mean." 

"Yeah." Andy almost smiled. She put an arm around Miranda and said softly. "You know, Miranda, I am here for you. In whatever capacity you want me to be."

Miranda let her head rest against the side of Andy's head.


	4. Chapter 4

Richard finished the last dish and handed it to his wife who dried it and put it away. He grabbed a glass out of the cabinet and poured himself a glass of wine.

"Rick, do you have to do that?" 

He sighed, "it's one glass of wine."

"It _starts_ with one glass of wine." She crossed her arms across her chest.

"I googled Miranda Priestly," he sipped his wine, clearly ignoring his wife's implications, "did I ever tell you that? When Andy first started working for her I googled her."

"Oh?"

"She's been married four times and each marriage has culminated in ugly divorces."

"Maybe she's had so many bad marriages because she didn't realize that she wanted to be with a woman." Josephine shrugged. "I have to admit that I'm not her biggest fan but that emotional display about her children... anyone who loves their children so unconditionally can't be all bad, Rick." 

"Or maybe she's had so many bad marriages because she's fickle and indecisive and she's just using our daughter in a seemingly endless string of unthought out romances." 

Josephine shrugged again, "Andy has a point, she's an adult and we just have to trust her."

"I do trust Andy. I don't trust Miranda," he finished his glass of wine and sighed, "did you know that we're both younger than she is?" 

"Whatever Andy wants..." Josephine held her hands up, "I'm not getting caught up in all of this! I'm going to feed Napoleon."

Up in Andy's bedroom Miranda pulled her midnight blue satin Victoria's Secret pyjamas out of her suitcase, "where should I change?"

"You can change in here, I'll go to the bathroom." She gathered her t-shirt and shorts into her arms and left the room. 

Danny joined her in the hallway. "So seriously? You're going to marry her?"

"Yes, seriously, Danny." Andy rolled her eyes. 

"She's loaded, isn't she? Is this about the money?" He grinned, "when you're rich by association would you buy me stuff?"

"It's not about the money, Danny, I would never exploit Miranda like that." Andy said and immediately felt a small festering guilt forming. It was about the money, she was doing it because of the financial gain. Maybe it wasn't only about that, maybe part of it was her understanding of Miranda's need for self-preservation. Maybe she liked her, she had once, maybe she'd never stopped. 

"Okay, whatever." Danny shrugged.

When Andy returned to her bedroom Miranda was already wrapped warmly in the comforter with her thick black sleep mask covering her eyes. Andy sighed and fluffed up her pillow, lowering herself onto the floor.

A few hours later Andy was awoken by a stiff neck. She groaned and stretched out, rubbing her neck. She rolled over onto her side and caught sight of a disgusting little arachnid crawling across the floor at what Andy would only describe as breakneck speed, heading straight for her ear. Intending, of course, to burrow into her skull and lay eggs therein.

Andy yelped and launched herself onto the bed, landing on Miranda. Miranda sneered and pulled off her sleep mask, squinting through the darkness at Andy. "Andrea, the explanation you are about to give had better be exceptionally good." 

Andy panted and her brow was furrowed in worry, "I saw... I saw a spider on the floor."

"Andrea..." Miranda rolled her eyes, "the little thing can't be any bigger than your little pinkie fingernail, why are you so worked up about it?"

"I'm just a little arachnophobic, okay?" Andy's heart was pounding, "don't make me sleep on the floor, Miranda, please, don't make me."

"Where do you suggest I sleep?"

"We can share the bed, it's big enough."

Miranda sighed, "if it gets me back to sleep faster." She held up the covers for Andy to join her underneath. "Keep your hands to yourself."

"Ditto." Andy smirked and Miranda looked flustered. She pulled her sleep mask back on.

In the morning, Danny stood in the doorway to his older sister's room with a bowl of cereal. He had been sent up to wake them but lingered in the doorway. Miranda was on her side, facing the wall and Andy lay behind her with her face buried in Miranda's hair.

Andy stirred at the sound of his incessant cereal crunching. She looked up and rubbed her eyes. She scowled and threw her pillow at him. She extracted herself from the bed and met him in the hallway. "You are such a little pervert." 

He shrugged noncommittally. "You guys weren't naked or anything."

"You are so dense." Andy rolled her eyes. 

"Aren't you going to wake Sleeping Beauty's grandmother?" He motioned to Miranda and Andy shoved him into the wall. He frowned and rubbed his arm.

"I'm letting her sleep. She kept waking up sneezing." Andy pulled the door most of the way shut, "she's probably exhausted."

Once in the kitchen Danny poured himself another bowl of cereal. Josephine snatched the box out of his hand, "Danny, I'm going to be making breakfast, do you have to eat a whole box of cereal first?"

Danny shrugged and shoveled a spoonful of Wheaties into his mouth. Josephine rolled her eyes. 

"Should I wake Miranda if we're going to have breakfast?" Andy asked.

"No, you can let her sleep for a bit and I'll let Napoleon out to stretch his legs." She moved to the laundry room and opened the door. The big fluffy black cat stretched and meowed, rubbing against Josephine and Andy's legs before trotting out of the kitchen, "the poor thing must be so confused about being locked in a tiny room." 

"Look how happy he is to be out." Andy smiled and got out the ingredients to help her mother prepare breakfast. 

Napoleon ascended the stairs and pushed Andy's bedroom door open with his nose. Miranda sneezed and groaned and rolled over onto her back, after a few moments she let out a soft snore. Napoleon jumped gracefully onto the bed and laid over Miranda's chest.

Miranda felt a sneeze coming on but it subsided. She sniffled and pulled off her sleep mask, she rubbed her eyes and opened them slowly.

Miranda shrieked a blood curdling scream as she looked into the green, narrowed eyes of the Sachs family cat. She hurled the cat off of her and towards the door but not before Napoleon's claws dug across her collarbone. 

The cat landed on all fours and hissed angrily up at Miranda who leaped to her feet on the bed, backing against the wall. "Stay away from me, you feline Jack the Ripper!" 

Andy and Josephine skidded to a halt in front of the open doorway. "Napoleon!" Josephine scolded, she reached down and picked up her cat. "Bad kitty." 

Miranda shrieked again. "That thing tried to kill me!"

"He didn't." Josephine frowned, "you just scared him screaming like that."

"He went straight for my carotid!" Miranda insisted, "and what the hell is he doing in here anyway? Didn't you lock him in the laundry room?" 

"I wanted to let him out to stretch while you were sleeping." Josie scowled. 

"What the hell was that monster doing in here?!" Miranda demanded.

"Hey, hey," Andy approached the bedside, offering a hand to Miranda to get her down, "don't take it out on my mom, obviously I didn't latch the door properly, I'm sorry."

Miranda stepped down from the bed and then yanked her hand away from Andy's, " _sorry_ indeed." She sneezed violently, "these scratches are already irritated.

"You're fine, Miranda." Andy rolled her eyes. "Get dressed, we're making breakfast."

Miranda sneered at Andy's back as she left the room. She went to her suitcase and started pulling out her clothes for the day. Miranda couldn't breathe through her nose and as she was pulling out her pants her throat started to close up. "And-" she gasped but couldn't even get the whole word out. 

Desperately trying to breathe she rummaged through her suitcase trying to find her epipen. Designer everythings strewn about the room as she searched in a panic, she was starting to black out. She finally found it, she stood up and promptly passed out.

Andy heard the thud upstairs and rolled her eyes, " _what now..._ " she climbed the stairs, "Miranda, enough, the cat is back in the laundry room-- Oh my god!"

Miranda was sprawled out on the floor, clutching the pen. Andy fell to her knees and yanked the epipen away from her, she grabbed it in her fist and used her teeth to remove the gray activation cap. She used her free hand to yank down Miranda's pyjama bottoms and shoved the epipen into her thigh.

Andy's heart pounded as she waited the requisite 10 seconds. "Goddamnit, Miranda, wake up!" 

Miranda gasped and coughed and sputtered, rolling over onto her side and dry heaving. Andy dropped the epipen and wrapped her arms around Miranda, "oh my god, Miranda, oh my god." Andy was shaking. 

Miranda's eyes were red and irritated and her nose was still unusable. A few tears rolled down her cheeks, "I told you I was violently allergic to cats..." 

"I thought you were being overly dramatic. I'm sorry."

"When am I overly dramatic?" Miranda scoffed.

"...all the time. ' _is there some reason my coffee isn't here? Has she died or something?_ ' or, ' _Only when the first assistant hasn't decided to become an incubus of viral plague_ ' or-"

"I get it." Miranda pushed back on Andy, "get off of me, I refuse to lay on your floor without my pants." 

Andy blushed a little, pulling back. "It was for the epipen."

"I'm aware of that, but I don't think my breathing is contingent upon my pants _pooling_ around my ankles." Miranda stood up, using the bed to steady her. "Get out, I need to finish dressing." 

"We should call the paramedics just to make sure you're alright." Andy insisted. 

Miranda waved her hand dismissively, "I will have none of that. Just go down to the drug store and get me some extra strength allergy medication and another epipen." 

"I'm sorry, again, about the cat." Andy tried but Miranda pointed pointedly to the door. Andy sighed and left the room, closing the door behind her.

"I am not overly dramatic." Miranda mumbled as she pulled on her clothing. She sat on the bed when she was done and closed her eyes. She was still shaking from adrenaline and fear. She bit her lip as a tear rolled down her cheek, she wiped at it and picked up her phone. She hit speed dial button 1 and waited until Cassidy picked up, "hi bobsey, it's mummy... I'm okay... yes, I swear. Is your sister around? I just needed to hear your voices..."

"What was wrong?" Josephine asked as Andy reentered the kitchen. She looked at the epipen in her hand as she threw it away. "What's that? Is that an epi?" 

"Yup." Andy sighed, grabbing her mother's keys, "apparently I almost killed Miranda. Can I borrow your car? I have to get her another epipen and some allergy medication."

"Yeah, of course..." Josephine's mouth was open in awe. "Is she okay?"

"No worse for wear." She shrugged, "I think she's a little embarrassed. Just a little bruised ego because she passed out on my floor. I almost killed Miranda Priestly, no big deal..." 

Josephine watched Andy go out the door and heard the car start and pull away. Richard joined his wife in the kitchen. "How's your head this morning?"

"Fine." He shrugged, he pulled out his coffee mug and poured the dark roast, "I just need coffee. What was all the ruckus about?"

"Rick, sit down, I want to talk to you about something." 

Miranda hung up and finished getting dressed. She sneezed all the way down the stairs and stopped in the bathroom to blow her nose and was lured into the kitchen by the smell of fresh coffee. 

The coffee was sitting on the burner on the stove, Josephine poured Miranda a cup, "I like it really hot, my family gives me a hard time about it."

Miranda gulped the scalding hot liquid, letting it burn her throat all the way down. The heat of the coffee helped unblock her nose and she took in a deep breath of relief. She looked over at Josephine and smiled reservedly, "I think you and I are going to get along just fine."


	5. Chapter 5

Miranda bit her lip, looking out over the table and taking in all the carbohydrates. She did a quick appraisal and decided she would only eat eggs and bacon. She figured Danny would eat her share of the pancakes and hash browns. 

Miranda had taken two of the allergy pills and was beginning to feel like she was sure she was going to live through the day. 

After breakfast was almost finished Josephine smiled, "Andy, Miranda, I was going to wait until after breakfast but I'm just going to go out of my mind with excitement if I don't say it now."

Andy looked sideways at Miranda. She finished chewing her bite of hash browns and swallowed. "Okay."

Josephine reached over and took Richard's hand. He didn't look up from his food. "Andy, your father and I talked about it. We're sorry we reacted so judgmentally yesterday. Of course we're happy for you. We thought it might be nice if the two of you got married on our anniversary."

Andy's eyes widened, "Monday?"

"Is it too soon? I just thought it would be sweet if we shared an anniversary." Josephine smiled sweetly. "I don't want to mess up any plans you may have already made but if you don't have any yet..." 

"Oh mom, that's very nice and we haven't made any plans yet but the twins have school on Monday." 

"Actually," Miranda started, "the girls have Monday off for a teacher's workshop." 

"We could make the guestroom up for them." Josephine said hopefully. 

Andy turned to Miranda, "what do you think, Miranda?"

"Yes." She nodded, "yes, let's get married on Monday. Andrea, book a flight for the girls and forward the flight information to my ex-husband."

Andy pulled out her Blackberry and started making the arrangements. "There's a flight from LaGuardia to Cincinnati at noon, do you think they could make that?"

"Yeah, book it." Miranda opened her phone and started dialing Lucas, "use the Platinum Master Card. Lucas," she said when he answered.

A couple of hours later Miranda and Andy were sitting in the airport waiting for the twins. Miranda was flipping through Vogue and correcting things she deemed mistakes on the part of Anna Wintour. Andy was silently watching the muted news program. She finally turned to Miranda. "I sort of saw your tattoo this morning." 

Miranda looked up. "Oh?"

"Yeah, it's on your lower abdomen." Andy said and Miranda nodded, "I didn't see what it was though."

Miranda was silent.

"You're not going to tell me?" 

"You saw it on a technicality when I was dying, that doesn't count." Miranda flipped a few pages in the magazine and looked over and caught Andy's big brown eyes making puppy eyes. She sighed, "oh, alright. It says sealed with a kiss and it's in a Gothic font and it has a little kiss." 

"Oh. That's cool. Why did you choose that? And why on your lower abdomen?"

"Because, Andrea, it covers my c-section scar." Miranda threw the magazine down on the bench, "where are they? The receptionist told me that the plane left on time."

"I think she told you that because you were scaring her." Andy admitted.

Miranda sneered, "and why would that prompt her to lie?"

"Because she wanted to tell you what you wanted to hear so you wouldn't keep talking to her. It's okay," Andy took Miranda's hand.

Miranda slowly looked over at Andy's hand. Andy blushed and released her hand quickly, muttering embarrassed apologies. Miranda sighed and patted Andy's hand, she threaded her fingers through Andy's and looked down at the ring she'd given her to wear. 

When she looked up Andy was looking at her, a question poised on her lips. Miranda squeezed her hand, "just getting into character." 

Andy smiled and tucked a lock of her dark hair behind her ear. She was about to speak when they both heard excited squealing of red headed twins. "Mom! Mom! Mom!" 

Miranda let go of Andy's hand and got up and embraced her girls. "Hello babies, how was your flight?" 

"It was good, who gets to be flower girl, mom?" They both tugged at her. 

"Neither of you." Their little faces fell, "because I want you to both stand up there with me. You're not little girls, you're my maids of honor."

Andy smiled at Miranda interacting with her girls. There it was, there was Miranda's humanity. It was beautiful and Andy was happy to be part of it. Andy's head snapped up as the man she recognized to be Lucas sauntered up to the Priestly women. 

Miranda stood up slowly. Her Jones New York leather boots left her taller than her ex-husband, Andy knew that that made Miranda feel good. "What are you doing here?" 

"Like I would pass this up. You came to heckle at my last wedding."

"I didn't come to heckle, I was still breast feeding, you wanted the twins there you had to have me." Miranda folded her arms across her chest. "I really don't recall inviting you."

Lucas put his hands on the twins' heads. "It's my week to have the girls. If you want the twins there yo have to have me."

Andy wanted to get out of the way of the tension that was building. "Hey girls, why don't I go get your suitcases." Cassidy handed Andy the baggage claim and silently cursed her for taking the one get out of this conversation free card in the game.

"Miranda, for Christ's sake, is she a high schooler?" Lucas scowled as Andy fled the scene. 

"She's 24." Miranda smirked, "she's the most mature person I've ever been with."

"No, no, I get it, Miranda, she's your midlife crisis." Lucas condescended, "I thought that the Mercedes was going to cover it but clearly I was wrong." 

"I am in love with Andrea, Lucas, don't try to cheapen it."

"Mom, how come we've never met her?" Caroline asked, speaking for herself and her sister.

"Because, girls," Lucas started, "she's characteristically using this girl. She's inviting her into your lives for just long enough for you to grow to care about her and then she's going to yank your stability out from under you. _Again_. Just like Stephen, just like Todd."

The girls' identical deploring eyes focused on Miranda, "you wouldn't do that to us, mom..."

"...would you?"

Miranda's heart wrenched with guilt. She shook her head, not trusting herself to speak. She cleared her throat. "You haven't met her yet because I didn't want to introduce her to you until I was sure. Your stability is my top priority, babies."

"So... you're sure about her?"

"Yes." Miranda was surprised at how effortlessly the assurance fell from her lips. She was further surprised at how much truth there was behind the word. She _was_ sure. Sure in what capacity was yet to be determined, but it didn't alter her certainty. "In fact, my darlings, Andrea and I are going to take you out today."

Their eyes lit up and they smiled, "where?"

"It's a surprise... you know, local little places that only a native would know..." 

After a lengthy argument between Miranda and Lucas he agreed that the twins could stay the night at the Sachs, but only one night, and he got them a day into Miranda's next week. Andy maneuvered her mother's Toyota Avalon through the streets of downtown Cincinnati. 

Andy was stifling a smile as Cassidy and Caroline were giving a joint-Miranda-like rant about the service on the plane. 

" _I_ ordered the chocolate milk and she gave it to Cassidy!" Caroline explained with incredulity.

"It wasn't as if we switched seats while she was gone." Cassidy rolled her eyes. "I mean, is it so much to ask that there be decent service on the plane?"

"Well, I hope that the service at dinner was better." Andy fidgeted. She was feeling self-conscious despite the fact that they'd all seemed to enjoy themselves. 

Their first stop had been to Andy's favorite new age coffee shop, the one she'd gotten coffee at every morning of her senior year when she drove herself. She and Miranda got coffee and the girls got fresh fruit smoothies. The Priestlys didn't praise her decision but none of them made any complaints so she considered it a victory. Their next stop was the art museum because Andy knew it would make Miranda happy. The most she'd gotten was a reserved smile but Andy knew her well enough to know that was high praise indeed. Andy knew that the bowling alley was hit or miss but the twins loved it and Miranda seemed happy to read and offer encouraging advice to her daughters. Andy was rusty but she still threw a couple of frames so the twins would beat her. She caught Miranda's eye after throwing her second frame and Miranda raised her eyebrows knowingly. Andy winked. Finally Andy took them to the trendy vegetarian restaurant that she and Lily frequented in high school when they decided to be vegetarians. It didn't last and she didn't think that it was the best choice, but all of the other restaurants she liked were definitely not Miranda sort of restaurants. At least this one had the benefit of being very chic. 

"The service was adequate." Caroline shrugged. "Food was good though." 

Andy looked over at a quiet Miranda. "Did you enjoy the food?"

Miranda gave a curt nod, "I did. It was distinctly lacking in red meat but that was to be expected." 

"Is that humor, Miranda?" Andy teased.

"I'm fully capable of making jokes, Andrea." Miranda smirked playfully. "I did hire you, after all." 

"Ooooh." Caroline and Cassidy giggled from the backseat. 

Andy laughed warmly. She pulled into a parking lot. "Finally, the pièce de résistance, The Flying Cow, the best ice cream in town." 

The girls practically jumped out of the car and the adults followed them at a reasonable pace. Cassidy and Caroline got their tried and true favorites in sugar cones and Andy got a chocolate-vanilla twist in a plain cone. 

"You don't want any ice cream, Miranda?" Andy nudged her.

"I'm not a big fan of touching my food," Miranda shook her head, "and ice cream gets very sticky." 

"You can get it in a dish." 

"I'd still get sticky." 

"I find it difficult to believe that you've never been sticky."

"Not in public." Miranda smirked.

Andy choked on her ice cream and blushed. 

"Mom! Mom!" The girls ran over to them, "there's a pinball machine! Can we have some quarters?"

"I'm sorry, babies," Miranda made a sympathetic sound, "I don't have any coins."

"You know, girls," Andy smiled, "there's an all-night arcade around the corner. I used to spend so much time there, it's great."

Their eyes lit up with undeniable excitement. They were practically buzzing with enthusiasm as they looked up pleadingly at their mother. Miranda looked down at them and then over at a similarly enthusiastic Andy, though she was able to pull it off with a lot more subtlety. 

"I'm not really an arcade person and I finished my book at the bowling alley."

The girls looked crushed. Andy looked over at them and then back to Miranda, "you know, you could take the car home and I could take them and then get a cab back." 

"No, I'll take a cab, I'd feel better if you and the girls had the car." Miranda furrowed her brow, "are you sure you want to go to the arcade? It's awfully late."

Andy smiled, "we three are at the beginning of a very promising sugar high and I have a DDR high score to defend." 

"Alright," Miranda nodded and the girls rocketed off in flurry of happiness. Miranda dug her wallet out of her purse. "I'll just give you some money-"

"Miranda, stop that," Andy shook her head, pushing Miranda's hand away.

"Don't be silly. They're my children, take some money for the arcade." Miranda insisted.

"No. You're their mother but I'm going to be part of their lives for a little while and I want to do this, you insisted on paying at everything else and this is the thing that I'm doing for them." Andy said firmly, "keep your cash for the cab."

Miranda was touched. She watched Andy as she put the money slowly back into her wallet. "Alright. How should I go about getting a cab?" 

"You can call a cab or you can walk down the block and get one in front of the hotel. They're always there."

"Thank you." Miranda took Andy's hand and gave it a little squeeze. She hesitated for a moment but leaned in and kissed her cheek. Andy smiled and leaned into her a little. They pulled back and watched each other's faces. "You should go wrangle the twins before they run off in a frenzy of ice cream fever. Do you think you'll be long?"

Andy shook her head, "no, we shouldn't be too long." 

Miranda nodded, "alright." She was reluctant to leave them. She was enjoying her time with them and she was loathe to let it end but at the same time she wouldn't enjoy sitting in a dark, stuffy arcade with lots of bells and whistles. She gave Andy's hand another squeeze and let her go. 

She kissed her girls foreheads and wished them a good time. Then she walked the block to the hotel. During her walk her guilt started to fester. The girls seemed to adore Andy and what was almost equally as bad was that Andy seemed to adore the girls. She was beginning to think that marrying and divorcing Andy may prove to hurt more than it helped. In the end though, her ability to stay in the country and stay with her children and ensure Andy's employment should be reason enough to push aside her reservations. 

This was in everyone's best interest.

If it was in everyone's best interest why did she feel so terrible about it? She stood on the curb, prepared to hail a cab when she caught site of a bar across the street. She sighed and thought about it for a moment before crossing the street and entering the alcohol serving establishment.


	6. Chapter 6

The bar was dark and a little smoky but she figured it would do. She sat down at the bar. The bartender had a piercing through his nose and sported a mohawk. They gave each other judgmentally scrutinizing looks before he said, "what'll you have?"

"An appletini."

He sneered, "we don't serve anything that tastes like fruit."

"Fine, then a cosmo."

"We don't serve anything _pink_." He said with annoyance.

"Look, just give me alcohol! Give me the special!" Miranda snapped. 

"Coming right up." The bartender walked off to mix her drink and Miranda picked up one of the coasters, the name of the bar was The Spider's Web and she imagined that Andy would have avoided this establishment if only because of the name. Her musings were interrupted by the bartender setting the drink down. 

She didn't bother to even sarcastically thank him. She lifted the drink to her lips and sipped. It was better than she'd expected. Like the whole weekend, better than she'd expected. Every time she thought about how much... _fun_ she'd been having with Andy and the twins she drank a little faster. She was halfway through her drink and already feeling the alcohol's effects.

When she reached the bottom she called for a second. Halfway through the second one she knew she was drunk. And she was okay with that. "What is this called?" She slurred holding the glass up. 

"It's a Black Out." The bartender deadpanned. 

"Well, then, here's to my blacking out." She held up her glass and then took a couple of big gulps. She let out a throaty giggle. 

"You're not planning on driving are you?" The bartender asked as Miranda slammed the empty glass onto the coaster. 

"No, no, no. Cab. Maybe another drink?" 

"I think you've had enough." The bartender insisted, Miranda pouted but handed over a handful of cash for the drinks. "I'm going to call you a cab." 

The cab ride seemed shorter to Miranda. She was laying in the backseat of the cab looking for the shapes in the stains on the ceiling. Before they reached the Sachs house Miranda had found a puppy dog, a boot and three moons. The cab driver was nervous not being able to see her in his rear view mirror but every now and then her hand would shoot up and point to the ceiling. 

"Andy, we're never going to be able to beat you at this!" Caroline grumbled good naturedly as Andy beat her at DDR again. 

"Don't beat yourself up about it, girls," Andy smiled, "this was my whole high school experience. If you do it for a while you'll get really good at it. You're awesome for beginners." 

"Really?" They both beamed.

"Oh yeah!" Andy grinned, "when I started I was so horrible, you two have natural dancing talent. And excellent hand eye coordination. Or hand foot."

"Can we play a little more?" 

"Absolutely." Andy dug out a handful of quarters and split them up evenly between them. Andy took a sip of her extra large blue raspberry slushie. "I'm going to sit over here for a bit. I'll watch you."

She threw cash at him, told him to keep the change and stood on the curb in an effort to control herself as the cab pulled away. She took one uneasy step forward and then another until she reached the front door. She pulled out the key that Andy had given her and attempted and failed to put it in the lock for two minutes before Richard opened the door. 

He was holding a glass of bourbon and they sized each other up. "Where's Andy?" He closed the door behind her.

"At the arcade with my girls." Miranda reached for the couch, grasped the arm for balance and sank down onto it.

Richard laughed, "forget about getting them back." He hiccuped, "Andy spent her whole childhood at that arcade."

"Andrea's such a good person, you know?" Miranda looked serious. "You know, I just... I don't say it enough. I don't tell her enough. I _appreciate_ her."

"She's a good kid." Richard nodded, teetering on his way to join Miranda on the couch. "I just feel like she's too young for you."

"Forget too young. She's too good, she's too... too... wonderful. I don't deserve her, you know? It's like... like... it's like... Beauty and the Beast. She's so... _good_ and I'm monstr... mon... monst... mon-stru-ous." 

"No, no, you're not a monster."

"I am! I am a little bit."

"Noooo." Richard insisted.

"She... she makes me want to be a good person. I... want to be the person... that she deserves." Miranda sighed, "I want... I just want her to be happy." 

"Me too. That's all I want. I want her to be happy." He nodded, "and Miranda, you know, if you make her happy then that should be it for me, you know? I just... I'm glad that you make her happy. Can I hug you?" 

"Right... now?" Miranda bit her lip.

He shook his head, "I'm just gonna do it, I'm just gonna hug you." He leaned forward and hugged Miranda tightly. She kept her arms pinned to her sides for a few moments before reaching up and putting her hands on his back. He pulled back and smiled, "that wassssnice. I'm glad that we hugged." 

Miranda nodded, "it was okay." 

"I have to..." he stood up and swayed, "I have to sleep now." 

"Yup." Miranda stood too, using the coffee table and then transferring to the wall, "I'll... me too." 

Miranda stripped out of her clothes clumsily. She climbed into Andy's bed and stared up at the ceiling. She frowned when there were no stains to find shapes in. She sighed and looked over the framed pictures on the side table. 

Andy let herself and the girls in. The girls were leaning against each other out of exhaustion. Andy showed them to the guestroom which was off the kitchen. The girls climbed onto the bed and curled into twin balls, falling asleep almost instantly.

Andy felt like her bladder was going to explode and she stepped out of the guestroom intent on beelining to the bathroom. She was stopped by Richard sitting on the couch with a glass of bourbon.

"Dad?" She raised an eyebrow questioningly. 

"Oh Andy!" He smiled and stood up, "I wanted to tell you. Miranda's alright, you know?"

"You talked to Miranda?"

"Yeah, and word to the wise, she's a little... you know."

Andy waited for him to elaborate and shook her head, "no, I don't know. What was she a little?"

"A little drunk, you know. She was smashed, she was _wasted_."

Andy scrunched up her nose, "I think you're projecting, dad." 

"She said how wonderful you are and how beautiful you are and... she loves you, Andy, she does."

"Dear god! She is drunk!" Andy exclaimed in alarm, "I have to go check on her!"

As she climbed the stairs her bladder protested but Andy needed to check on Miranda, she had no idea what she was like when she was drunk. After her near death experience she didn't want to take any more unnecessary chances.

Once Andy made it through the door she saw Miranda on the bed with her glasses on and reading a magazine from Andy's shelf. She looked up and saw Andy. She grinned and took her glasses off. "Andr _eeeeea_." She purred.

"Mir _and_ a." Andy laughed a little, "alright, I see that you're not dead, so... you're not wearing a shirt. Or pants." 

Miranda wrapped her arms around Andy's waist and pulled her tightly to her. "Andrea, let's get sticky." She whispered as she kissed Andy's neck. 

Andy grinned, "well, hello Miranda," she pulled back and kissed her, "hold that thought, I have to pee so badly. I'll be right back! Right right back!"

"Hurry back." Miranda bit her lip on a grin. 

Andy cursed the extra large slushie -- and the fact that she finished off Cassidy's -- as she raced to the bathroom. Miranda was drunk but people didn't do things they wouldn't do when they were sober, they just lost their inhibitions. At least that was the way she wanted to play it. 

As she rounded the corner after the record breaking, fastest pee in the universe, she saw Miranda passed out on the bed, curled around her pillow in the middle of the bed.

Andy groaned. "Hello sexual frustration, my old friend." 

The alarm clock blared at 6:30 and Andy rubbed her eyes, she stretched her back, she'd been wrapped around Miranda's unmovable body all night. Church with the family. She shook Miranda's shoulder. "Miranda?"

Miranda groaned and turned over, "whaaat?"

"Do you want to go to church with us this morning?" 

"I'm hung over, stop talking." Miranda whispered and turned back away from Andy. 

"Alright, well, I have to go." Andy pushed herself out of bed. 

"Also." Miranda said. 

Andy waited for her to continue but she seemed to fall back asleep. Andy sat back down on the bed and nudged Miranda, "also what?"

Miranda furrowed her brow at Andy. "What?"

"You said also and then you fell asleep. Also what?"

"Oh... I'm Jewish." 

"Oh. Alright." Andy nodded, "what about the girls?"

"Jewish mother, Jewish children."

"Right..."

"Just leave them a note, they'll be fine. Just tell them I'm up here." Miranda pulled the comforter up around herself. "...Andrea, why am I in my underwear?"

Andy was turned toward her dresser and she blushed, "don't ask me, I got back last night and you'd already done it. You were pretty far gone." 

Miranda groaned and Andy blew out a frustrated breath. "I didn't do anything embarrassing, did I? I sort of remember the cab ride home and I feel like I hugged your father."

"Do you remember anything else?" Andy waited but got no response. She finally turned around only to find Miranda fast asleep again. She sighed heavily. "I'm going to take a wild guess and say no."


	7. Chapter 7

The Priestly women were still fast asleep when the Sachs returned from Church. Danny's tie was balled up in his hand and he tossed it at the coat rack as he grumbled through the door. Andy climbed the stairs, stifling a yawn, and went into her bedroom. She was not surprised to see Miranda still sleeping. 

"Miranda," Andy put a hand on her shoulder, "time to wake up, sleeping beauty."

"Beauty and the beast." She mumbled in her sleep.

"What?"

"She's so beautiful." 

"Miranda, who's so beautiful?" Andy insisted.

Miranda blinked a couple of times and looked up at Andy in confusion, "what are you talking about?"

"Nevermind, you were talking in your sleep." Andy shrugged and stood up.

"Are the girls up yet?" Miranda rubbed her eyes and ran her fingers through her hair. "God, I smell like alcohol."

"Why don't you take a shower and I'll make coffee." 

Freshly showered and plied with aspirin Miranda headed down the stairs. Richard sat on the couch holding his head and Miranda cast him a sympathetic glance. "You didn't have to go to church." He whispered.

"Forty years in the desert excludes me from mass for an eternity." Miranda smirked as she slipped into the guestroom. She climbed onto the bed and cuddled up to her girls.

They stretched, smelling their mother's signature scent and smiling. They cuddled up to her. Miranda nuzzled the nearest head of red hair. "I think we're being asked to get up. Andrea and her family just got back from church." 

"Mom, Andy's great, she's so cool." Cassidy said and Caroline nodded her agreement.

"She's way cooler than Stephen was."

"Yeah, or Todd."

"She treated us like people."

"And not your add-ons." 

"We told you you deserve better than Stephen and Todd." The twins finished their joint sentence and punctuated it by hugging her tightly. Miranda closed her eyes, feeling them well up with tears and she really didn't believe that she deserved better. Maybe she deserved her loneliness, she deserved her miserable love life. 

Miranda pulled herself together, kissed both of their heads and stood up, "get dressed, girls, Mrs. Sachs is making breakfast."

"Rick, bring in the extra table and set it for me, would you?" Josephine called from the kitchen.

"Josie, have mercy on me. My head is throbbing." Richard rubbed his temples.

"Rick, I have no sympathy for you. If you didn't drink yourself into a stupor every night-" Josephine stopped when Andy walked into the room. She smiled at her daughter, "thank you for humoring us and going to mass."

"Two masses a year, it's hardly a huge sacrifice, mom." Andy looked around the kitchen, "what can I do, mom?" 

"Um, there's French toast, corned beef hash and oatmeal." Josephine shrugged a little, "I think I've got it."

Andy grinned, "all carbs, Miranda's going to have to suck it up or starve this morning but I know you will endear yourself to the girls with this spread."

"Well, I have some fruit that Miranda could have if she wants something else to eat." 

Andy shook her head, "buttery food will do her hangover good."

"She's hungover too?" Josephine furrowed her brow.

Andy nodded a little, "I think her ex-husband really got to her yesterday. Totally long story though. I don't think I've ever met two people who hate each other more than they do." 

"That's too bad for their children." 

Miranda flipped open her cell phone and hit the speed dial button for Emily. She waited impatiently as the phone rang. "Overnight me that dress that James Holt made for me for the benefit and pick out a Vera wedding dress for Andrea. Also, get the girls... red dresses." 

Emily could scarcely speak. She'd read the headlines in Page Six, of course, and dealt with Leslie having a panic attack about not having been informed, but to hear it from the horse's mouth. "For your wedding to Andy." She said, asking her question in statement form.

Miranda rolled her eyes. "I am so glad I don't pay you to use your brain." Miranda hung up. 

Emily called Nigel.

Miranda, Cassidy and Caroline sat on one side of the table and the Sachs watched them with awe. The three of them wielded their cutlery with perfect precision, they sat up straight and never talked with their mouths full. 

Much to Andy's surprise Miranda took small portions of all the carbohydrates set in front of her. Apparently Miranda would have to hand in her 5 year chip. Miranda had forgotten how much she'd loved French toast. 

Breakfast was almost over when Miranda's phone rang out with "ding dong the witch is dead" and Cassidy announced, "dad's calling!" 

"I got it." Caroline jumped up to get the phone. The twins jumped at any chance to play mediator between their easily enraged parents. "Hi dad." 

Miranda handed Cassidy her plate, "why don't you help with the dishes, Bob?"

Cassidy nodded and took the plates, following Richard into the kitchen. Josephine smiled, "your daughters are lovely, Miranda. Andy said they were twins but I think I wasn't prepared for them to be so identical." 

Miranda nodded, "they're still in the stage where they like to dress alike. They like to try and trick people and I think they know they're more unnerving if they dress exactly alike."

Caroline came back into the room. "Dad wants to pick us up. Is that cool?"

"My parents are having a little anniversary party this afternoon, they can't stay for that?" Andy furrowed her brow. 

"He's pretty insistent." Caroline frowned.

"Let me talk to him." Miranda held out her hand for the phone. Caroline looked unsure about handing the conversation over. Finally she placed the blackberry into Miranda's waiting hand. 

Caroline sat down at the table with Andy and Josephine. She couldn't erase the feeling of dread she felt enabling her parents' discourse. Cassidy joined them and waited silently for Miranda to return. 

Miranda came back and dropped her phone onto the table. "He'll be here in about an hour to pick you up."

"But mom, what about the party? I want to go to it."

"Talk to your father. I am absolutely done arguing with him." Miranda scowled. "I'm just done. Excuse me."

Andy and the twins watched Miranda go up the stairs and when Andy turned to look at the twins they were looking at her. "Right, I'll go talk to her."

"Girls," Josephine said, barely able to contain her smile. "I know that we haven't spent much -- or really any -- time together but I'm really excited for you two to be part of my extended family and I hope that we can spend time together soon. Andy told me that you're creative so I got each of you sketchbooks and sketch pencils. I would have liked to get you more individual gifts but I didn't know where to begin. Maybe soon we can get to know each other better." 

The girls looked down at the sketchbooks wrapped in red ribbon that Josephine slid across the table to them. They smiled up at Andy's mother. 

Miranda slammed Andy's door behind her, almost hitting Andy with it unintentionally. Andy opened it and Miranda turned around, her expression softened a little, "I'm sorry."

"No," Andy closed the door again and walked towards Miranda, "no, you don't have to be sorry, you're upset."

Miranda sat down on the bed, ankles crossed and hands clasped over her lap. 

"No, Miranda," Andy shook her head, she took her hands and unclasped them and put her foot between Miranda's. Miranda looked up at Andy in shock. "None of this prim and proper attempt at burying your feelings. You're mad. You're angry. Talk about it, let it out!" 

Miranda studied Andy's face, her heart pounded in her chest. She looked down at Andy's hands holding hers and then further down at Andy's leg pushed between her own. Finally she looked back up at Andy.

"I'm thick skinned but I'm not made of stone." Miranda sighed. "I have feelings, I am human."

"I know you are, Miranda." Andy said soothingly. 

"All I want is to be allowed to do my jobs and to do them well. Those jobs being a mother and editor-in-chief. I have never tried to deny Lucas his right to have partial custody of his children. I can't imagine why he hates me so much that he would try _so hard_ to keep me from them." Miranda closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath. 

"You're a good mother, Miranda, and by virtue of that you'll come through this. I'm sure of it." Andy squeezed Miranda's hands gently. 

Miranda shifted her leg against Andy's and Andy blushed. Feeling Miranda's skin moving against hers made her whole body flush. She let go of Miranda's hands and took a small, shaky step backwards. 

"Let's go downstairs and spend some more time with them before Lucas comes to get them." Andy suggested, moving towards the door. 

Miranda nodded, "give me a minute, I'll be right down."

Down in the living room, sometime later, Miranda sat with Caroline in her lap, while Andy sat with Cassidy in hers and Josephine and Danny huddled close together playing team poker. 

To everyone's surprise, except Miranda's, the twins were adept little hustlers. Danny had been drawn into the game as another futile attempt to prove some intelligence to Miranda. They were playing for candy, Josephine sacrificed the bag of fun-sized Halloween candy and when Lucas came to collect the twins they walked away with more than half the bag in their pockets. 

Miranda kissed their cheeks and stroked their hair. "I'll see you two tomorrow, have a good night, babies. I love you." 

"Love you, too, mom." They hugged her and went to the door. 

Miranda decided not to interact with Lucas and stayed on the couch. Andy, however, decided to give him a piece of her mind. The girls ran to the car that he had rented and buckled themselves in. Andy spoke up as he turned to leave, "hey. I want to talk to you for a second."

He turned around and gave Andy an aggrieved look. "Before you start, let me say that I am not fooled. I know that marrying you is just a feeble attempt at avoiding deportation. How do I know this, you may ask. Well, for one, I was married to her for three years and I happen to know that she is _not_ gay. Second of all, if she _were_ gay you would not be her type. Also, she is old enough to be your mother. She is your boss. And she is despicable."

Andy nodded a little. "Okay, you've said your piece. My turn." She gave him a condescending smile. "Miranda is one of the best mothers that I've ever met, she loves her children with her whole heart and wants nothing but for them to be happy and be loved, which is really more than I can say for you if you endeavor to take them away from her. Miranda _is_ my boss and she is old enough to be my mother but she's so beautiful and so passionate. She's strong and resilient, she's larger than life, she's smart and witty. She can be deathly serious and she can be funny and she's everything that I've ever wanted in _anyone_. I am truly honored to have the opportunity to share her life and you were _privileged_ to have those three years with her and if you can't appreciate that then I _pity_ you because, with the possible exception of the twins, she was the best thing you've ever had in your life. _You are despicable_."

Lucas stared at Andy, he'd hardly expected her to string together two coherent sentences let alone deliver such an impassioned speech. 

"That's all." Andy smirked haughtily before turning and going inside.


	8. Chapter 8

Andy slammed the door behind her as she reentered the house. Miranda looked up at her questioningly. "How did you ever stay married to that man for _three_ years."

Miranda snorted a laugh, "he's endearing, isn't he?" 

"That arrogant, self-righteous... _jackass_." 

"Can I pick them or can I pick them?" Miranda grinned sarcastically. 

"I can't imagine you ever being happy with him." Andy insisted, "I really can't."

"Who said I was happy? He handled my first divorce. His wit and unwillingness to compromise was intoxicating. Little did I know that he refused to compromise _anything_ but by then I was pregnant. We were both busy professionals so we didn't really have to see each other that much. We had so much contempt for each other. We cheated on each other left and right. We were both at so much fault in the divorce that, despite lengthy battles and high priced attorneys, neither of us got anything from the other and we got joint custody of the twins." Miranda recounted, "we've since been back in court six times with regards to our custody agreement but it has remained steadfast." 

"Six?"

"I know he loves them, I wouldn't ever dream of taking them away from him." Miranda shrugged, "he has it in his head that I'm an unfit mother because I suffered from post-partum depression."

Andy sat down on the couch with Miranda. She realized that Miranda was making an effort to open up to her and she wanted to convey appreciation of said effort. Andy took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "That must have been very hard on you."

Miranda shrugged, "I dealt with it and my children didn't suffer because of it so he has no basis for his argument." 

"And that's why a court of law has found in your favor six times."

Miranda nodded and paused. "I overheard your conversation... and Andrea, if I were gay, you would be exactly my type."

Andy smiled shyly and looked down. "Thanks." 

Miranda picked up the deck of cards. "Want to play another few hands of poker?" 

Josephine and Richard's anniversary party started at 4 and the house was packed with family and friends. Miranda sat with a glass of champagne in the corner. Andy, on the other hand, was cornered by her great Aunt who wanted to hear all about New York City. Josephine was talking with her sister Kate and Richard was nursing his second glass of wine while he discussed the merits of ride on lawn mowers. Danny was playing Halo with his little cousins. 

Miranda did not mind being unapproachable. She didn't mind it one bit. It enabled her to sip her champagne in peace. 

"Hey," Nate came up behind Andy, "Ida, do you mind if I borrow Andy for a bit?"

"No," she smiled and squinted through her coke bottle framed glasses, "not at all."

"Thanks for saving me." Andy said as they walked up to the refreshment table. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"Well, I was visiting my parents and it just so happened to coincide with the annual Sachs anniversary party. How could I pass that up?"

There was a short awkward silence before Andy said, "you look good. Boston seems to be treating you well."

He nodded, "I can't complain." There was more silence, Andy attempted to diffuse it by busying herself with food. "Oh, congratulations, by the way."

Andy looked up with half a strawberry sticking out of her mouth. She chewed and swallowed the strawberry and blushed a little. "Thanks."

"I called it, didn't I?" He smiled, "the person whose calls you always take..."

"I wasn't with her then." Andy shook her head. 

Nate shrugged, "maybe not physically but you certainly weren't with me." 

Miranda sat forward, watching the interaction between Andy and the unshaven, slovenly boy standing next to her. She nudged Danny with her foot. 

He scowled, "you just got me killed. What do you want?"

"Who is that mountain man talking with Andrea?"

Danny craned his neck to see. "Oh, that's Nate. He's Andy's ex. They dated for like 5 years. She moved to New York for him, actually."

Miranda sat back against the couch with a hmph and Danny returned to playing xbox. Miranda was just considering standing up and getting territorial when Josephine brought Kate over. "Miranda, I wanted to introduce you to my sister." 

Kate held out her hand and Miranda shook it. "It's very nice to meet you."

"Likewise." Miranda said and sipped her champagne.

"Katie's a justice of the peace, I was thinking she could do the ceremony tomorrow, if that's okay with you." Josephine smiled excitedly. 

Miranda smiled a little, "well, I don't see why not." 

"Miranda?" Richard called from the front door. "There are some people here for you."

"For me?" Miranda furrowed her brow. "I can't imagine..." She got up from the couch and went to the front door to see Emily and Nigel standing there offering innocent smiles. "Richard, allow me to introduce my first assistant and my fashion director."

"Charmed." Emily offered her hand to Richard.

He nodded, "nice to meet you," he shook her hand and then Nigel's, "welcome to the party. Help yourself to wine and food." 

When Richard was gone Miranda turned a smirk at her employees. "Taking your annual joint vacation to Andrea's parents' house?"

"We couldn't trust Vera to the postal service. These dresses are too perfect, Miranda, we needed to ensure their safe transport." Nigel insisted.

Miranda nodded slowly with a smirk, "uh-huh... very convincing. You're desperately trying to garner invitations."

Emily smiled innocently.

"I suppose since you're here." Miranda said permissively, though she was actually happy to have them. She didn't think that they were there to watch her fail. In their way, they were there to support her which was very comforting. 

Andy caught a flurry of red hair out of the corner of her eye and furrowed her brow. Before she had the chance to follow up her mother tapped her wine glass with a spoon and smiled at her guests. 

"I just want to thank everyone for coming to help us celebrate our anniversary. This year is particularly special because our little Andy, who's obviously not so little anymore, is getting married. Andy, Miranda, would you come here?" Josephine smiled.

Miranda and Andy caught each other's eyes through the crowd as they made their way over to Josephine. Josephine kissed Andy's cheek and said, "Andy, your father and I are so happy for you that you've found someone to love and to love you. You deserve all the happiness in the world."

"Thanks mom." Andy smiled.

"And Miranda," Josephine turned to her, "I'm sure it's no secret that Rick and I didn't have a very high opinion of you before but you've challenged everything we thought and I have no reservations about your being with Andy. I look forward to spending more time with you and with the girls. I'm so glad that you're going to be part of my family, Andy couldn't have picked anyone better." 

"Thank you, Josephine." Miranda said softly. Josephine hugged her and kissed her cheek.

The crowd of Sachs' family friends applauded and congratulated. Miranda kept her eyes cast somewhat downward. Andy reached out and took her hand and gave it a squeeze. Miranda looked up at her and Andy offered her a smile which Miranda halfheartedly returned. 

"Kiss! Kiss!" Danny called and the crowd applauded. 

Andy blushed a little and shot Danny a look. She felt her heart pounding a little as she looked back at Miranda and she stepped forward. Miranda parted her lips slightly, nerves and allergies conspiring against her. She tilted her head and pressed her lips to Andy's. Andy melted into the feeling and Miranda cupped her cheek, reciprocating the kiss. 

When they pulled apart it was Miranda's turn to blush and she looked down as the crowd applauded again. 

"That..." Andy started softly as everyone resumed their previous conversations. "That was nice, Miranda." 

"It was rather." Miranda whispered with a smirk. 

Nigel and Emily came up behind Andy. Nigel put a hand on Andy's back pulling her attention away from her betrothed. "I can't believe you didn't tell me you were with Miranda." 

Andy grinned, "Nigel! Emily! What are you two doing here?"

"Like we were going to miss this." 

Miranda pulled her blackberry out of her pocket, "I'm going to give the girls a call, you three should talk." 

"You and Miranda?" Emily raised her eyebrows. "I'm stunned, I'm really stunned."

"Me too, actually," Andy admitted, "I'm just really glad and appreciative that she's allowed me to share her day to day life with her." 

"You've got it bad, kiddo." Nigel grinned into his glass of champagne.

Andy bit her lip and nodded, "yeah, I know I do..."

The party started to dissipate at 8 and everyone had left by 9. Andy hadn't seen Miranda in two hours. She found her in her bedroom sitting on the bed with her phone in her hand. 

Andy sat down on the bed knowingly. Miranda set the phone on the nightstand and Miranda pulled Andy in for a hug. Andy felt Miranda's cheek brush against her own and Miranda let out a soft breath and whispered, "thank you."

Andy's eyes fluttered shut and she held Miranda tightly. 

Josephine sauntered through the living room with a glass of vodka and orange juice. Richard was cleaning up from the party and he looked up at his wife. "What are you doing?"

"I was curious." She smirked and took a swig of her drink, "I was curious to see why your life is clearly so much better through beer goggles."

"Josie, don't do this." 

"Richard," she slammed the drink down on the table. "Richard, we are going to talk about this because I don't want this to be our last anniversary." 

"Josie, what are you saying?" He furrowed his brow. 

"I'm saying I think you're an alcoholic." Josephine admitted. "I think you have a problem and I want to understand why and I want to help you. I want you to let me." 

Richard sighed and shook his head, "Josie, I am not an alcoholic." 

"Don't insult me, Richard. Every night you get drunk. That's an alcoholic, Richard." Josephine scowled. "Starting right now I'm getting rid of all the alcohol in the house."

"Josie, I haven't had any incidents!"

"Yeah, and why do you want to wait until you do?" She demanded. "What do you want to happen before you realize you have a problem? Do you want to get in your car drunk and kill yourself? Or someone else? What Richard? How bad does it have to get?"

"Josephine, I don't want to do this."

"No, I don't want to do this." Josephine started to gather up all the wine bottles that were left from the party. "I am taking these, I am throwing them out and then I'm going to my sister's for the night." 

"Josephine!"

"No, Richard, don't even." She slammed the door behind her.

Andy picked her head up, "did you just hear a door slam?"

Miranda sighed dramatically and rolled over, "Andrea, no, I didn't hear anything because I was asleep." 

"I can't sleep, would you talk to me?"

"Don't let that thank you go to your head." Miranda rolled back over. 

"Miranda, please."

She pulled off her sleep mask and rolled over onto her back. "What do you want to talk about?" 

"Tell me something about you that I would be surprised about." Andy smiled. Miranda rolled her eyes and Andy laughed, "humor me."

"Fine." Miranda nodded. 

Andy waited patiently and after a few minutes she looked over, "Miranda, did you go back to sleep?"

"No." Miranda snorted. "I'm just thinking... well... my favorite song is I Have a Dream by Abba. It reminds me of when I was young and more idealistic."

"That's sweet, Miranda," Andy smiled. "My favorite song is I never had a dream come true." 

"I don't know that song."

"I'll play it for you sometime." Andy paused and smiled, "maybe we'll dance to it at our wedding."


	9. Chapter 9

"Andy?" Danny called from the other side of her bedroom door. He knocked, waited and knocked harder, "Andy!"

She flung the door open, " _what_?"

"Do you know where mom is?"

Andy narrowed her eyes at him. "I was asleep until a moment ago. How the hell would I know where mom is? Did you try calling her?"

"...no." 

Andy slammed the door in his face. She climbed back into bed and curled up under the covers. Miranda turned over and snuggled up to her. Andy allowed herself to indulge in wrapping her arms around Miranda's warm body. 

Danny walked into the kitchen to find Richard toasting poptarts. He raised an eyebrow. "Where's mom?"

"She's not here." Richard snapped.

"Why?"

"Drop it, Danny!" 

"Fine." Danny frowned, "don't tell me anything, treat me like an idiot like everyone else, whatever." 

"No, Danny, wait." Richard grabbed his arm.

Danny yanked his hand away from his father. "Forget it, don't even try."

Richard was about to go after him when Josephine came in through the garage. Richard tried to give her an apologetic smile and said, "happy anniversary." 

"I don't want to talk about it." She put her purse down on the counter. "I'm going to wake Andy and Miranda. Are you making poptarts?"

"Want one?"

"...no." Josephine grabbed a banana and fled the kitchen. She climbed the stairs and knocked on Andy's bedroom door. "Rise and shine, lots to do today."

Emily and Nigel met up in the buffet area of their hotel the next morning. Nigel grabbed a cranberry nut muffin, turned to his British travelling companion and said, "split an orange with you."

She nodded curtly, "do it up."

Lucas had a plate piled high with delicious breakfast foods and he smirked at the two. "Well if it isn't Miranda's mini-me and the token gay man."

"Hey, what do you know," Nigel glanced at his watch, "it's time for Lucas to be a complete douchebag already. Where does the time go?"

"It appears to have all gone to Lucas's face." Emily smirked. 

Lucas rolled his eyes at them and took his leave. Nigel turned to Emily and laughed a little, "a face joke?"

"I'm faint with hunger." 

He thrust the orange into her hand, "then eat!"

The ceremony was scheduled to take place at two and Josephine had worked from eleven to noon on setting up the backyard. She set up all the chairs she had with an aisle between the two sections and decorated her trellis with flowers for an altar. 

Miranda sat in the guestroom preparing for the ceremony, which for most of the morning had entailed sneezing fits accompanied by 5 minutes of recovery and more nasal spray than she probably ought to have used. She watched Josephine work on the backyard through the window as she blew her nose.

Andy played Halo with Danny and he joked that it was the lamest bachelor party ever. 

Richard just tried hard to stay out of everyone's way. The doorbell rang and he went to answer it. Lucas stood on the other side. "The girls wanted to get ready with Miranda." 

Richard nodded, "she's in the room that you stayed in." 

"Thanks!" The bouncy twins threw over their shoulders as they bounded to their mother's hideaway. 

Lucas slipped on his aviators and shook his head. "You look like you had one hell of a night last night." He said, looking Richard up and down. "Spend time with Miranda, did you?"

"Who invited you?" Richard scowled. 

The girls threw open the door to the guest room, "mom!" 

"My maids of honor have arrived!" She pulled them tightly to her. She sniffled wiped her itchy eyes.

"Are you crying?" 

Miranda shook her head, "allergies, darlings." She kissed their foreheads. "Why don't you try your dresses on?" 

Fifteen minutes later the girls were standing on the coffee table in front of Miranda who was making last minute alterations to the dresses with Josephine looking on. Miranda watched her stitching through her glasses and stuck the pins into the dresses. "Girls, go get out of the dresses very carefully, don't stick yourselves, Josephine and I will make the necessary alterations."

"Are you nervous?" Josephine smiled.

"A little." Miranda admitted.

"Fifth time down the aisle and you still get butterflies?"

"Actually, this is the first time I've been nervous."

Andy stood in her bedroom in front of her mirror admiring the Vera Wang dress and the knowledge that she was about to marry Miranda Priestly was really sinking in for the first time. The dress was a little snug in the bust but it fit her well in every other area. 

She glanced over at her bedside clock and her heart stopped for a moment. There was only an hour and a half until the ceremony. She decided it was time to put on her make-up. 

After she had finished and decided it was just right there was a knock on the door. "Come in," she said.

Miranda opened the door. "I know it's supposed to be bad luck but I wanted to make sure the dress fit you."

"It fits perfectly."

Miranda looked her over and nodded, "it's a little tight in the chest. Can you breathe well enough?" 

Andy nodded, "I think so." 

"I hope so because we don't have enough time to let it out." Miranda looked up into her face. "Why do you wear that bright red lipstick?"

Andy blushed, "I... I don't know... I just kind of always have." 

"It's not flattering." Miranda shook her head, she pulled a tissue out of the box and wiped away the fire engine red paste that Andy had smeared over her lips. She dug through Andy's collection of make up and produced a dusty rose colored lipstick.

"Someone else bought that for me."

Miranda smiled, "it's the only decently colored lipstick you have." She pulled the top off of it and cupped Andy's chin with her free hand and tipped her head back. Andy let her eyes slip shut. Miranda ran the lipstick over Andy's full lips. 

"There." Miranda announced in a whisper, "that's much better. You look beautiful, Andrea."

"Thank you, Miranda, so do you." Andy blushed. Miranda sniffled and wiped her eyes. "Miranda, are you crying?"

"A little."

" _Mo-om_!" Cassidy yelled from downstairs, "mom! I got stuck with a pin!" 

"I'm coming, Bob," Miranda called, she glanced over at Andy and gave a small smile before heading out the door again.

After the pin crisis was dealt with the twins were left to play cards with each other while Miranda and Josephine went off to get dressed. Richard and Danny got dressed early and started showing people to the backyard. Miranda watched everyone milling about in the backyard.

Someone knocked on the door and Miranda beckoned the knocker. Josephine smiled at her, "hi Miranda," she looked at her dress, "you look so wonderful. I just wanted to talk to you before the ceremony. This necklace was my grandmother's. If it clashes with your look I won't be offended, but I just know that you have a plunging neckline and a necklace might be nice."

Miranda softened. "The necklace is beautiful, Josephine, thank you. I would be honored to wear it."

Josephine smiled and positioned herself behind Miranda and slipped the necklace over her neck and clasped it behind her. Miranda touched the necklace and smiled a little.

Miranda stood at the altar looking down at Kate's shoes. She wouldn't have suggested wearing those shoes with that dress but she recognized that her thoughts were a means of deflecting from what she was really feeling.

Suddenly the music started and her heart skipped a beat. She looked up to see Richard leading Andy down Josephine's makeshift aisle. Miranda bit the inside of her lip. The song ended and Andy was standing in front of her. 

Kate started to perform the ceremony but Miranda wasn't really listening. She was enraptured by Andy and distracted by her own guilt until finally she blurted, "stop!"

Kate, Andy, the twins and all the guests stared at Miranda in disbelief. Miranda sighed and looked around. She looked at Andy, the twins, the Sachs, her employees and Lucas. She looked back at Andy, "I can't do this, Andrea, I thought I could but I can't. I've been so selfish and, as usual, you jumped at the chance to help me. Then you invited me into your home," she looked over Josephine and Richard, "and I've enjoyed being here so much and you've made me feel so welcome, you've made me feel part of a family and you were so hospitable to my daughters and I am so grateful for everything."

"Miranda, what are you doing?" Andy whispered.

Miranda reached up and unclasped the necklace. She put it in Andy' hand. "I'm sorry." She turned around to her girls and kissed their foreheads, "I'll see you back in New York, be good for your father." 

Nigel and Emily jumped up. 

"Tell me you have a rental car." Miranda met them halfway down the aisle. They nodded, "good, let's get to the airport." 

Andy stared at Miranda's fleeting form in disbelief.


	10. Chapter 10

Andy's family flocked around her as she stood there open mouthed. The twins looked up at Andy with hurt and confusion. Lucas rushed to their sides. He sneered at Andy, "I knew it, that speech you gave was complete bull." 

"Shut-up!" Andy snapped, "just shut up! None of this would have even happened if you weren't constantly trying to get the twins taken away from her!" 

"She left you at the altar and you're defending her?" 

Andy rolled her eyes and tried to push her way through the crowd, "I have to find Miranda, dear God, I can't move in this dress. Vera wedding dresses are not made for mobility!" 

By the time Andy made it up to her bedroom she found that Miranda, or possibly Emily, had removed all of her belongings and left a note on the bed. Andy picked it up and read it: _Dear Andrea, I'm sorry that I put you through this. You're a wonderful assistant and you've been a really good friend to me. I'm holding up my end of the bargain, I'll send your letter of recommendation when I get back to New York. M._

Andy rubbed her eyes. "She could have run this by me..." Andy closed the door and got out of the dress, the process taking somewhere between 5 and 10 minutes, and changed into jeans and a sweater. 

"Mom, I have to go to the airport, I have to get to her. Can I use your car?" 

Danny jingled his keys, "I'll take you."

She offered her brother a grateful smile before nodding and heading for his car. "Thank you, thank you," she professed, "I really appreciate this, Danny."

"Hey, we have to get your woman." Danny shrugged, "you should have seen how jealous she was when you were talking to Nate at the party." 

"She was jealous?" Andy grinned. 

"Oh hells yes," Danny nodded, "she was practically ready to leap across the room and tear you away from him." 

Josephine stood on the corner watching her children speed off. Richard came up behind her and said, "Josie, can we talk please?"

She turned around, "what is it?"

"I hated you being gone yesterday and I'm sorry, Josie... I do have a problem and I'm ready to admit that." He sighed, "I love you, Josie, I really really do." 

Josephine smiled, "I love you, too, Rick." 

Nigel drove while Miranda sat in the passenger's seat staring into the mirror biting her fingernail. Emily was attached to her blackberry and suddenly she exclaimed, "Donatella is on her way back from California and she's going to have her jet stop in the Cincinnati airport for us. It'll be there when we get there."

"Good." Miranda said curtly. Miranda pulled out her own cell phone. "David," she started once he picked up, "new plan. I didn't marry Andrea, what are my other options?"

"Marriage was your best one but barring that... we could go to court and ensure that your custody agreement is solid you could probably stay."

"Probably?"

"Yeah, because of the girls and your high standing there's a chance you could stay on a technicality."

"A chance..." Miranda ran her fingers through her hair, "David, I don't want to leave my girls."

"I'll get us in with Judge McMahon tomorrow morning."

"Tomorrow morning it is." She turned off her blackberry and let out a long sigh. 

When Andy and Danny arrived at the airport traffic was backed up and Andy rolled down her window and flagged down an airport employee who was trying, in vain, to direct the traffic flow. "What's going on?"

"Some New York fashion designer's private jet just landed, one of the regular flights had to circle around until the runway was clear. All hell broke loose."

Andy cursed under her breath. "Donatella's plane! Miranda's on that plane!" Andy exclaimed jumping out of the car. 

Danny yelled after her, "you can't stop a plane, Andy!" Andy's feet pounded the pavement as she raced towards the airport. "Andy!" 

She ran through the grass and around the back of the airport where the runways were. Much to her horror she saw Donatella's plane turning around on the runway to take off again. "Miranda!" She shouted, "Miranda, stop! Wait!" 

Airport security caught her by the wrist, "you're not allowed back here."

Andy was in tears as she looked back to the officer, "someone that I love very much is on that plane!"

The next flight to New York didn't leave until 10 that night. When Andy got back into the New York it was almost two in the morning and she went to Miranda's townhouse first. It looked dark, which made sense, she rang the bell. "Miranda?" She called upwards and knocked on the door. 

She tried calling her several times. When Andy realized Miranda was not going to answer she texted her and didn't really expect an answer. On her subway ride home to her apartment she texted Nigel "where is Miranda?"

When she got back to her own space she laid down on the couch and promptly passed out from exhaustion and disappointment. 

Her phone vibrated in her hand. She rubbed her eyes and looked at the window, the early morning sun was streaming through and she groaned. She looked down at the phone and flipped it open, "Nigel! Where is Miranda?"

"Good news and bad news." He started, "she's at the court house but it's a media frenzy over all this down there. The tabloids are flipping their lids. She and Lucas aren't on the docket until 10 but I don't know how you would get in there." 

Andy furrowed her brow, "that seems weird that no one can get into the court house."

"Well, no one that doesn't have a reason to get in."

Andy bit her lip. "Right. Nigel, I love you. I'll talk to you soon." She hung up the phone without waiting for his response. She had an idea.

Judge McMahon sat on the bench and looked down at Miranda and Lucas sitting with their lawyers. "Can't the two of you reach any agreement?" She said wearily. She also noted that this time Miranda was on the plaintiff's side. "Alright, tell me what this is regarding."

David stood up, cleared his throat and began to explain when the door was flung open. Andy stood there, she leaned against the door frame for a moment to catch her breath. "Wait!" 

Judge McMahon leaned tiredly on her elbow, "this ought to be good..." 

Miranda turned around to see Andy and her mouth fell open. 

"Miranda, I have to talk to you."

"Andrea, we're in the middle of something here." 

Andy walked down the aisle and slipped behind the plaintiff's table. Andy spoke softly, "Miranda, you left so abruptly."

"Andrea-"

"No, Miranda, let me speak." Andy said forcefully and Miranda surprised herself by closing her mouth. "Miranda, marrying you stopped being an obligation and it became something that I want and I think it's so sweet, but stupid, that you couldn't take advantage of me like that. Well, you wouldn't be taking advantage of me you'd be making me the happiest woman in the world. I think you feel similarly about me, if you don't, boy do I have egg on my face, but... Miranda, would you marry me?"

Miranda wiped a few tears out of her eyes.

"Judge!" Lucas protested, "this is ridiculous."

Judge McMahon banged her gavel with a scowl, "overruled."

"Andrea, it's not that simple,"

"It is that simple, Miranda," Andy held up the papers, "I have the marriage license right here. Usually you have to wait 24 hours after the license is issued but I got the clerk upstairs to wave that. We could just sign it and then find someone to marry us." 

"I could do it." Judge McMahon shrugged.

"Say you'll do it, Miranda. Say you'll marry me." 

"For god's sake, yes! Yes." Miranda threw her arms around Andy and pulled her as close as she could with the barrier between them. She leaned her forehead against Andy's and whispered with a smile, "yes."

Andy leaned in and kissed her, unable to stop smiling.

David cleared his throat. When the women looked over at him he was holding up a pen. "Let's put it in writing." 

Andy walked through the gate and came around to the front of the table and signed after Miranda. David signed as a witness and Lucas stood there shaking his head. Judge McMahon was all too happy to get this done and get Miranda and Lucas out of her court room. 

"Andrea Marie Sachs, do you take Miranda Priestly to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do." Andy smiled.

"Miranda Victoria Priestly, do you take Andrea Sachs to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

Miranda nodded with a smile, "yes, I do."

"Then by the power vested in me by the state of New York I now pronounce you married." The judge announced, "congratulations." She looked to Miranda and Lucas, "and in future, just accept that you are both parents of your children and you are stuck with the other. Stop trying to sue for custody." She banged her gavel again. "Dismissed."

Lucas glared at Miranda and Andy as he stalked off feeling chastised. David closed his briefcase gave Miranda a small smile before leaving Andy and Miranda standing in front of the bench. 

Miranda smiled and leaned in to kiss Andy. Her lips touched Andy's softly, her fingers slipped into Andy's hair as she pressed harder against her. Andy sighed with contentment and leaned into Miranda, parting her lips and allowing the kiss to deepen. 

When the kiss broke they stood still for a few moments, holding the other close. "Time to face the cameras?" Andy asked.

Miranda nodded and took Andy's hand, giving it a squeeze. "Together."


End file.
